Losing Steve was personal for me
Not because I’ve seen him before in person, because I never have, and now never will
But because he was probably the biggest influence in my life for the past 8 or so years
And because joining Apple with him in charge, regardless whether he is CEO or not, was the single biggest aim in my life
That now can never be realized

When I bought my first ever Mac back in 2004 it was nothing more than a really nice and interesting computer to me in the first few months
Until I started finding out more about Apple
And Steve
And then I started following Apple
And saw with my own eyes the wonders that Apple, and Him, were capable of
That made me who I am today

Becoming the vice president of MacNUS (the Mac User Group in NUS) was a starting step
But it wasn’t until the following year when I took over the presidency from my good friend Steve (Yang) that things were put into motion for me
I envisioned a school with a lot of Mac users in a world where the majority of Macs were running PowerPC chips
And was always heartened by the fact that my faculty of choice, Arts and Social Sciences, had a large number of Mac users as compared to other faculties
I pushed for chances, implemented lots of new ideas, held talks, seminars, made partnerships with third-party accessories makers, Apple resellers and assisted Apple in so many ways that the then-in-charge of educational sales in Apple South Asia, Eric, told me that he would find me a job in Apple
Most of all though, I made many great friends during that single year, most of whom I am still in constant contact with today

Even after I graduated and past the reins to my trusted aide and friend Hansen, I continued to be constantly involved in things for almost another year
Even after Eric got promoted and suddenly seemed to developed amnesia and have forgotten ever telling me that he’ll find me a job in Apple, I never stopped getting involved in Apple-related stuff
I never stopped trying to join Apple, the Apple that Steve led

Steve was always just “the outstanding and cool CEO of Apple” to most people
But to a smaller group of people, those of us who are always more involved in things, he was a teacher, a philosopher, a leader
His strive for perfection and simplicity greatly influenced those of us in our work and daily life
He taught us that regardless of one’s position in a company, how one will naturally get more involved in the process, because if one has a passion for everything one is creating it is impossible to be just another CEO and just sit around one’s office replying emails or play golf
And most of all, his own beliefs in life have shaped me into the person I am today

Every day I wake up and ask myself if what I am supposed to be doing that day is what I want to be doing on the last day of my life
And all too often that answer was No
But if it continues for quite a number of days, then I have to change things and I usually did
And that is why I do things the way I do, how I am the person I am today
I live by my own wishes, and never bother with how others or society might view me

Steve is the single biggest influence in my life for the past decade

I knew it will be hard when he eventually has to depart, but when it came, all of a sudden yesterday morning at 7 plus, it was unbearable
Totally unbearable
I went to work trying to look as normal as I can
And then I came home last night and cried myself to sleep

Losing Steve is losing the one single person that you live your whole life believing in
Christians call that person God
I call him Steve Jobs